our story

it officially started 10 years ago today, so i'll write it out. this is pretty long, i'm more writing it for me... you were either there for it, or probably aren't that interested...

fall of 1998, i left ohio to begin my freshman year at freed-hardeman university in henderson, tn. i would be singing in the college chorale group, The A Cappella Singers. We arrived early on campus, but i can't remember if it was b/c of the chorus or just for freshman orientation. either way, somewhere in those first few days, i met jared throneberry from lebanon, tn. i also met jeff miller, misty bauman, lee wilson, christie hicks and some others. our little group hung out together..eating together, making walmart trips together. over time, our little group dwindled. people made other friends, started dating, stopped dating, left school, etc. after a while, jared was the constant. the person who was always there, that i could count on to eat dinner with or go to church with or waste a friday night with.

soon, our friends started pestering us that we should date. why can't a girl and a guy be friends without dating? in fact, we had both dated other people and neither thought anything about it. we were absolutely, completely not interested in dating each other. in fact, on bus chorus trips, we'd talk about our future and had planned to live next door to each other..raise our kids as best friends, maybe they would marry each other! this period of not being interested in dating, but all our friends harassing us about it was pretty annoying.

the spring semester of my freshman year, i had to leave school and go home to ohio. i didn't have enough money to finish the year and the school wasn't going to be flexible with me. i was home from march until the next august when i returned to school. during that time, i thought a lot about the feasibility of going to a private college. sure, i could get the same degree from a local state school where i could live at home. but the chorus and all that entailed...and my friend jared...i couldn't get anywhere else. (plus, i had always dreamed of going to a christian college and i'm just too stubborn to give up and settle like that...which is why we're poor now b/c i'm still paying on those loans..) not returning to FHU was simply not an option.

fall of 99, i returned to school. i was SOO excited to see my friend jared and couldn't believe he missed me so much! the harassment continued. but the friendship did too. by now he was comfortable to me. jared had a habit of finding a girl, crushing hard on her and becoming very..focused on pursuing her. there was a girl, rachel from oregon. she wasn't the least bit interested in jared, and to be honest, they would've been quite incompatible. i remember hanging out with her and thinking "she's not anything like him, what does he even see in her." but i watched him pine for her and listen to him tell me all the things he would do for her if she would give him a chance. that's when i first thought "wow, he's a good guy." that's when a conversation took place where i said "man, i wish i could clone you..i would totally marry your twin!" he thought i meant i wanted him. i was being serious. i wanted someone LIKE him, but certainly not him! but the seed had been planted in my mind..and there it grew.

in october our chorus took a trip to new england. by then, i had admitted to myself i was falling for jared. i made the mistake (or not) or admitting to one or two certain other people. megan simmons was of the strong opinion (everyone had a strong opinion for us, for some reason) that i should tell him. i was sure i shouldn't. after singing at a church, we were walking out to the bus and megan was leaning against a tree singing a hymn where the chorus says "oh why not tonight?" meaning i should tell jared right then. so on the bus ride, my heart is racing faster and faster and my palms are sweaty. about the time i think i might get nauseous from the nerves, i spill the beans. i bring up the fact that people think we should date, what does he think about it. he says "i don't know, i kind of like where we're at now. it's comfortable." shot down. though he did call me later that night to assure me we were still great friends and it wouldn't be weird between us.

however, the very next day he started to change. i noticed him just being more gentlemanly toward me. in boston we walked past a jewelry store and he even asked what kind of ring i would want. (or something like "girls say they don't need huge expensive rings..what kind of rings to they want when they say that?") little things like that. but it was tortuous to me as i tried to put the idea of us dating out of my mind.

the first weekend in december is the school's benefit dinner, raising millions of dollars for scholarships for kids (but not for this kid..) it always has a major keynote speaker and is a big deal on campus. this year, james earl jones was the speaker and our chorus was doing "a dickens christmas" caroling in costume around campus and then singing christmas medleys on stage before the speaker. a few days before this, jared and i had volunteered to help paint some vignettes. while painting, i asked him if he had ever been in love and we shared our previous dating experiences. that night, dec. 4, 1999, we were all dressed up and strolled arm in arm around campus. because that's what you're supposed to do when you're wearing tails and a hoop skirt..

later that night, a big group of us crashed at matt and mackenzie's house. there were half of dozen of us or so camped out in sleeping bags on the floor. after everyone fell asleep, jared and i started talking...and he admitted that he now had feelings for me. there was a lot of "are you sure's" asked. because we would've rather remained just friends than to try dating, break up a few months later and ruin the friendship. we talked about this being all or nothing. if we made this decision tonight, it was forever. we both understood that and decided to jump in anyway.

our first official date was "toy story 2" the next weekend. i remember on the drive to the theater us filling each other in on all the things we hadn't said during our friendship. we also filled each other in on every moment of us realizing feelings for the other. there were a lot of "remember when i said/did that? that was because..." i can still remember the amazing feeling of this time. it was like my heart had found its home. there was no fear, no anxiousness, just full, complete trust and comfort.

shortly after that, we went to nashville to see the christmas lights at opryland hotel. jared tried to coax me inside one of the big trees. i didn't understand why he wanted to do that, and i wasn't interested in getting kicked out. seconds later, i realized he wanted to kiss me in the tree. i tried to turn around, but other people had walked up and the moment was lost. this is true of our whole relationship. jared wanting to do something crazy and i'm a big chicken and cause the moment to be lost...

on the drive home, we stopped at a gas station where he picked up a rose (classy, i know. but it was sweet.) i didn't know this until like 30 minutes later when it magically appeared in front of me. he had hidden it in his coat sleeve...that started another characteristic of our relationship. jared is so good at romantic surprises. he has a couple on-going things that i've never figured out how he does it.. later that night when he dropped me off at my dorm, we had our first kiss in his car.

i'll stop the story here. that's the end of what this day celebrates. i'll write out the engagement story another time...followed by the wedding, moving to FL, etc. our story is still being written. we're only 10 years into it. sometimes i would stop and say "oh my goodness, i married JARED!" and could see him through the eyes of "just friends" and marvel at how we've changed. however, i've now lost that ability. i can't remember a time when (or reason why) i wasn't attracted to him. i can't imagine living next door to him! i'm glad we took a big risk to merge our lives into one. there's no one else i'd rather roll down this highway with than him! (and now our little passenger!)