T-9

ok, so it's probably really like T-8 plus a few hours....until my baby girl turns 2! i mailed out the invites to her little party today. only sent out 9, keeping it small (which may still make me wind up with 20+ people at my house.) we just did the grandparents, jared's siblings/families (mine are too far to be here for it) and 4 of alena's friends. that's it. we're doing a bubble/polka dot theme. hopefully next year she'll have some input to give, but so far (thankfully) she's blissfully uninterested in dora, disney princesses, elmo or any other over-commercialized kiddie theme. we were trying to think of what she likes, what she's in to. bubbles is what we came up with. it should be fun, and i like the creative outlet it gives me.

i hope to always make her birthdays simple and special. to not get caught up in the one-upping of birthday parties but to let her always know that 9/18 is her special day. i want her entire childhood to be sweet and simple. not to be rushed into adulthood or pressured into perfection, but to look back and have a period of a free, safe, happy and innocent childhood. i can't stand the thought of her someday acting like a spoiled child begging for me to buy her something, but it equally warms my heart to hear her giggling so hard she can't breathe when playing with her daddy. i love when i'm holding her on my hip and she just grabs my face, pulls it toward her and plants a big kiss on me. i love it and can't wait to celebrate her next friday.

so for 2 years it's just been me and her. it's been a time of an income-to-expense ratio that simply doesn't make sense on paper. a time of us holding our breath and hoping that something on the house or car doesn't go out. a time of truly appreciating our priorities. of maybe occasionally lusting over the shiny cars others have or the trendy clothes that i've let pass me by. but it's ok. i get to be the one to teach her almost everything, the one to watch her grow day by day. i'm truly thankful that i get to be with her all the time. and as fast as these 2 years have flown by, the next 3 will as well. then she'll be in school and i'll have plenty of time to go back to work, get out of debt and maybe even update my closet.

alena, you have been the most beautiful, sweetest little girl i could've ever dreamed of. i always knew my daughter would be named alena, but until 9/18, it was just a name. it was my name, but when i first held you, it became your name. i'm so happy to have met you and have you in my life. these 2 years have been priceless and i can't wait to see what this next year has in store. i know this time next year, you'll be fully potty trained, the paci will be a distant memory, and you'll be talking up a storm. can't wait!