sing

that last post, though quite dour, was therapeutic for me. i wrote it, went to bed and woke up feeling very refreshed. i felt silly for writing such a melodramatic post, but i think writing it aided in clearing my head that night.

i went to college. the summer before my freshman year, i got a call from a hannah green asking if i would be willing to join a chorus. i've sung in choirs in middle school, high school, took a few years of voice lessons (and more background in music that's not really relevant here) however, i'm a chorus girl. i'm great at blending, reading music and being attentive to the director. you don't really want (nor will i ever give you the chance) to hear me sing a solo or just sing for entertainment. i have a fear of auditioning. i'm good enough, but i lose myself with nerves in an audition setting. i asked this hannah if i would need to audition, she said no. ok. a traveling college chorus that i don't have to audition for? count me in.

now, this was an act of God because most people did audition, and some went through a quite grueling audition process. God simply knew that for me to survive my time at freed-hardeman, i needed this chorus and the director, John Hall.

the chorus (called The A Cappella Singers) became the core of my college experience. we rehearsed M-F for a heavy hour, plus sectionals one evening hour per week. i met almost all my friends on those risers in Old Chapel Hall. i met jared there and we traveled countless miles on an old bus, getting to know each other..unknowingly building the foundation for our relationship. i learned so much about life, church history, relationships, music, people, the world.. in this chorus and from our director. many people did.

the essence of my being from '98-'02 was in this group. john no longer directs at freed. however, he is starting a non-profit group called "i'll sing on" to give a chance for former college choral members to continue singing. you can see what this is all about at the website.

last week we got to be in that old place again. john rallied up 150-+ of singers, ranging from class of '57 to current students who sing under a director who once sang under our director. we rehearsed sunday afternoon and all day monday and tuesday. on tuesday night we filed in the beautiful Schermerhorn Symphony Center to sing for the Herald of Truth's fundraising event.

only a handful out of the 150-+ singers that were my contemporaries. but jared and i sat near each other in rehearsal. it was kind of neat to be in that context again. we giggled about stupid stuff and admired john and other little things like we used to do. and for just a moment, i found myself again. i would have loved to have seen more people we knew, but even still.

the moral of this story is that i'm still heather. i'm the same person. i'm just in a different context and not quite sure how i fit in here.

so thanks, john for coming back to direct in 98. thanks for letting me sing with you. thanks, jared for letting me sit with you on all those bus rides and being (somewhat) open to the idea of sharing our lives together (this is so much better than living next door to each other with separate spouses and kids, as we originally planned!) thanks, God for knowing what i needed and opening the doors for me to be there.