i've been wanting to blog for a while...i've had some stuff rattling around in my head but haven't had the time to sit down and write. i don't really have time now, but i want to unload at least one thing from my brain.
the summer before my 8th grade year, i found the youth group at walnut street united methodist church. i was raised in the Christian Church and still claim it as "my own". i'm skipping a back-story, but at the time, my family was visiting different congregations. sort of by accident, i stumbled upon the youth group at walnut street and it was a kind of love at first sight. it was a perfect match for what i needed at that time, and i became a faithful and active member of that church and youth group.
i was at every youth meeting, every youth rally and concert and activity. i participated in youth sunday. i did the 30-hour famines and see you at the poles. my closest friends were members of the same youth group. i loved youth group.
but i grew up, went to college, got married, had a baby, lived life throughout. several years have passed since i've really been around the youth group thing.
the church we've been attending took their youth group to Winterfest, an annual gathering of 14,000 (that's right) teens and adults in gatlinburg. they asked jared and me to chaperone. let's get 2 things straight: i hate winter. i hate gatlinburg. but i really like this church and want to get involved, so we did it. we left alena with jared's parents and went.
we get to the church. there were 2 vans and a smattering of teens and adults (read: 20 teens and 10 adults) standing around. the first kid comes up and hugs me. i say "hi! what's your name?" he says "i'm riding the short bus." enter great middle-school humor here. we get on one of the vans, the high school van, mercifully, and set off. immediately, i know i'm in trouble b/c the music is WAY too loud. i can't stand it. and besides that, i have never heard of ANY of the bands on the CDs they're playing. but oh, it's so loud.
we get to gatlinburg, find the hotel, then walk to the convention center where Winterfest is held. during the 4 hour drive, the kids said "our hotel is great! the convention center is right next to the hotel!" have you ever been to gatlinburg? our hotel is behind the aquarium. it's literally the length of gatlinburg away from the convention center. yeah... so we get to the center. it's 10:30pm. i don't have a schedule, but there can't be anything happening worth walking in at 10:30, right? wrong. we were just a little late. missed a little singing. it went until midnight. then walk back to the hotel (it's soo cold...) and the youth minister wants to have a devotional. with more singing. then announcements. then handing out of the schedule for the next day. and room keys. and i'm soo hungry. did i mention that we got on the vans at 4pm and were handed a 6" subway sandwich? did i mention that my sandwich was wrong and i ate something that i really didn't care for? did i mention that if i go too long without food, i get reeeeally weak and cranky? it had now been 9 hours since i had last eaten. and i'm used to going to bed at 11 at the very latest. i'm out of blood sugar and anything resembling the fruit of the spirit--the love, patience, kindness...they're all gone. at the last possible minute, the youth minister brings out some chips and drinks and brownies. not the best thing on an empty stomach, but i take it.
we go to our rooms. i have 3 girls in the room with me. they talk about how they all kick and/or cuddle in their sleep, so one girl promptly cleans out the little closet b/c that's where she's going to sleep rather than bothering me. what? ok. i've done stranger things, i'm sure. they've also concocted a plan with 4 other kids that they're going to go running at 4:30am. whatever, go for it. just don't wake me.
what actually happens is that all 3 girls sit on one bed and stay up all night talking. i'm in and out of sleep, fine with them staying up, but trying to keep one ear open. at one point i hear a door followed by silence and am sure they've snuck out. i pop my eyes open to see 2 sitting on the bed quietly. i asked about the 3rd...she's in the bathroom. at another point i hear a can open. again, i pop my eyes open, certain that they've brought out beer. squinting, i see a diet coke. what is wrong with me?
around 2:30, i'm sure that they're going to doze off and forget about running. they don't doze off. at 4:15am, i hear them getting ready. i give them my cell number, make sure they have room keys and beg them to stay together, stay on the main road and please be careful. now in the silence, i look forward to sleep. but, in the silence, the room heater is sooo loud. at 6am, they come back, get showers, get ready and leave for breakfast. their day is started. i'm bleary eyed, feeling a mess, they're wide awake and energetic. whatever. as long as they don't sleep through the stuff we came here for, i know this is what memories and friendships are made of. they did great the rest of the day.
we are told to meet an hour and 15 minutes before the session starts. 7,000 people are crammed into a ramp leading into the center. and we stand there for 75 minutes. not my favorite activity. the point of this is to get good seats. of course, it's nice to have good seats and i appreciated it once we sat down. but, another tell-tale sign of my age, i'd be just fine sitting on the back row to avoid this madness, which was complete with people throwing out candy and tossing beach balls around. in the cold.
the 2nd night is the same. it's not quite as late, but we're up past midnight with the stuff going on followed by the meeting with the youth group. again, i'm looking at jared like, you're kidding me, right? surely sleep is to be valued here. we get to the room about 12:30am, i tell the girls that i *have* to sleep tonight. they're in agreement and we're all in beds, all fast asleep within 5 minutes.
the ride back is filled with sleeping, taking pictures on cell phones, and chinese fire drills. it's not quite as loud since everyone is exhausted. i'm glad i went. this group of kids, like most youth groups, was full of kids from various backgrounds, an unlikely grouping, but good friends. the kids were good kids, honest in their faith and questions of faith. they were in the midst of trying to figure out who they are and how they fit in. some of them were in relationships and i had to watch, wincing, as the couples fought and made up, talked of jealousy, of boys wanting to do things and girls setting their limits. i sat quietly through this part, remembering my own high school and middle school relationships. knowing that these relationships would most likely prove to be all wrong in time. yet i was trying not to judge their relationships on my experience. i was afraid to open my mouth for fear of looking antique and out of touch.
i know that i'm 29..in 3 months i'll be 30. but time is funny, while the years between 14-18 lasted forever, the years since have flown by. i don't feel more than a couple years removed from high school and college. i still fear people will see me as a young college kid. but as i observed these kids, as i wished for the music to be turned down, as i fled the main room during a concert b/c it was just too much, i realized where those years went. i grew from a teen into an adult. i realized that i'm much closer to 30 than 15, or even 20. sidenote: this hit hardest when one of the main speakers showed a video clip and said "that kid on the far left is me. i was 8 years old. the year was 1994" what? 94? i was a freshman. i remember everything about 94. how could someone be 8 in 1994 and old enough to be standing there as the main speaker? i quickly did the math. turns out it's possible for him to have been 8 in 94 and still have finished college and even have a couple years of experience under his belt. wow.
but at the end of the day...the biggest lesson i learned from this weekend...is that i'm ok with being 30 soon. i've made a point to pack life into my years. i've lived. i like where i've been in the years since high school. i like where i'm at now. i like the path i'm on and happy to see what's around the next bend.
and i'm happy to play a new role in the youth group--as an adult rather than a kid. i'm glad i'm not a teen anymore...and i'm even happier that alena's not a teen yet.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment